Posted tagged ‘oklahoma’

I almost got ACORN’d

November 5, 2008

America: I understand that volunteers staff the polling stations, but is it too much to ask for competence?

I went to vote yesterday & upon feeding my ballot into the machine, it made the standard sound that it had accepted my ballot.  However, the tally on the machine did not change.  I thought since I was voting on 2 ballots, it would change after I fed through the second ballot.  It did not.  Apparently, there were 15 or so machines in Tulsa that malfunctioned yesterday.

I alerted a volunteer & she had the next person in line submit one of their ballots & the number again stayed the same.  Concerned, she placed a call to the election board (whose website, incidentally, doesn’t appear to have changed since it was first created).  While doing this, I peeked at the machine’s receipt roll & noticed that it had repeated entries of “stuck ballot.”

After conversing with the election board, she came back to inform me that she couldn’t do anything.  I asked if I should fill out a provisional ballot.  She said no & that she was sorry but it seemed that my vote was lost.  At this point, I began to suspect she was an ACORN secret agent.  Shaking that idea, I determined she was simply incompetence, so I called the election board & after receiving the spiel about how Oklahoma’s voting system is so great because it leaves a paper trail, I was assured that my vote would be counted.  After double-checking with the technician who had arrived on site during my call, he informed me, after repeating the aforementioned spiel, that my vote would be manually re-fed through the machine.

The fact that my vote was nearly derailed by a doofus, while initially grating & ultimately meaningless on the federal level, has since turned into a great story.

The unnatural order of things

July 23, 2008

So after quite the busy weekend, which included 1 midnight movie (Pee Wee’s Big Adventure) in Tulsa, 1 drive-in movie (Jaws) in OKC, 1 IMAX movie (The Dark Knight with 1 friend) in Tulsa, 1 “regular” movie (The Dark Knight with other friends) in Moore, and LaserTag (nothing wrong with 20- & 30-somethings drinking wine from single serving boxes in the parking lot of LaserQuest on a Friday night. That was the original premise for The Outsiders), I have to say the most memorable moment came courtesy of my grandmother.  She turned 92 this past Saturday so I thought I’d make it to the Big City to see her.  I’ve chronicled her unintentional comedic timing previously so I guess I should have been expecting a gem. Boy did she deliver.

I was visiting her at her nursing home, futilely trying to remind her that I wasn’t my cousin which worked every time I stated it except that I grew tired from doing it so frequently. As I had awoken her from a nap, she was laying in bed and I was kneeling on the floor by her bed while we conversed.

Quick back story: my grandmother is a strict prude: socially, religiously and all other -lys. So, with this in mind, I’m kneeling on the floor by her bed and, in her eternal quest to make everybody comfortable, she states, “Well, you could get up here on the bed and lay by me although it wouldn’t be natural you know.”

Thanks for the laugh, grandma. Happy birfday.

Oklahoma politics: keepin’ it lively

July 17, 2008

So there’s a wonderful story circulating through the Oklahoma papers this morning. Oklahoma County Commissioner Brent Rinehart, who is running for re-election and will face trial this fall for felony campaign finance charges, has produced and will mail a comic book to his constituents detailing his trials and tribulations against, according to said comic book, “gays, liberal good ol boys and Satan.” As we’re not too far removed from local House Representative Sally Kern’s rant, I’d say these are dark, embarrassing days to be an Oklahoma Republican. That is unless you support these flavors of “thought.” I’m curious to see what the kids at The Lost Ogle will have to say…..


May 8, 2008

After another round of storm damage in OKC, I am beginning to disdain my dual residence situation.

BTW, the first picture is the hole left from the attic vent that now decorates my flower bed.

Kill me, Jesus. Kill me now.

March 29, 2008

Silly me. Here I am, suffering with allergies bad enough to necessitate 2 trips the doctor over the course of 2 days with a result of 3 prescriptions & 3 over the counter meds, thinking I will be able to draw the blinds, watch tv, mope & recover all day. Oh no.

There’s some kind of fun run in town that has wrapped up & in the park not too far from my place, they are having some kind of post-race celebration concert, no doubt full of “family fun” and “all ages welcome.” There are a couple of military helicopters on the park’s grounds, so I guess they were running to find the cure for terrorism.

The worst part of this event is that I can hear the music. Now, normally, this would be ok. BUT, in this instance, there are 2 women singing who sound exactly like Jan Hooks and Nora Dunn when they did those skits on SNL in the 80s as those hokey lounge singers. Sorry, I can’t find any videos of them, but if you watched SNL in the 80s or have seen a Best of SNL special, you’ll know who I mean.

So today’s “performers” are singing in the same lounge act style, running songs together in a medley broken up with wit only a Branson audience could appreciate. Here’s the performance (remember: medley) I’ve been subjected to today:

Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy
Chattanooga Choo-Choo
(indecipherable banter)
I Will Always Love You
Breaking Up is Hard to Do
What’s Love Got to Do With It?
(I Can’t Help) Falling in Love With You
Unchained Melody
(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher & Higher
(indecipherable banter)
Proud Mary
Under the Boardwalk
(indecipherable banter)
God Bless the USA
(jingoistic banter)
America the Beautiful
The Army Goes Rolling Along
Anchors Away
(me grumbling & digging around for a sniper rifle)

Clean up follow up

January 22, 2008

Coincidentally, here’s a news story from today’s Tulsa World on the debris clean up at Johnson Park.

A beaver’s paradise

January 22, 2008

I stumbled upon the graveyard for all of Tulsa’s tree damage from the ice storm. They have taken over a giant swath of Johnson Park. I hope the photos & video can do justice to just how large the piles of tress and mounds of mulch were. Also, notice the white, jet engine-sized wood chipper in one of the pictures. Maybe this area was what that sleeping beaver was dreaming of…

Walkin with the fishes

January 21, 2008

Made a trip to the Oklahoma Aquarium this weekend with some friends who came into town. Frankly, I was kind of disappointed. I guess the only other aquarium I’ve been to is the one in Chicago, so that’s not a fair comparison. One of the high notes of this trip was the snoozing beaver (as you can see in the photos). It was sawing some serious logs.

Nature is purty

January 8, 2008

I watched quite a show this evening & it made me anticipate the coming of spring. Here’s some videos that I shot:



UFO landing?

December 12, 2007

I think it’s actually a branch falling on a live power line.