Posted tagged ‘movies’

The unnatural order of things

July 23, 2008

So after quite the busy weekend, which included 1 midnight movie (Pee Wee’s Big Adventure) in Tulsa, 1 drive-in movie (Jaws) in OKC, 1 IMAX movie (The Dark Knight with 1 friend) in Tulsa, 1 “regular” movie (The Dark Knight with other friends) in Moore, and LaserTag (nothing wrong with 20- & 30-somethings drinking wine from single serving boxes in the parking lot of LaserQuest on a Friday night. That was the original premise for The Outsiders), I have to say the most memorable moment came courtesy of my grandmother.  She turned 92 this past Saturday so I thought I’d make it to the Big City to see her.  I’ve chronicled her unintentional comedic timing previously so I guess I should have been expecting a gem. Boy did she deliver.

I was visiting her at her nursing home, futilely trying to remind her that I wasn’t my cousin which worked every time I stated it except that I grew tired from doing it so frequently. As I had awoken her from a nap, she was laying in bed and I was kneeling on the floor by her bed while we conversed.

Quick back story: my grandmother is a strict prude: socially, religiously and all other -lys. So, with this in mind, I’m kneeling on the floor by her bed and, in her eternal quest to make everybody comfortable, she states, “Well, you could get up here on the bed and lay by me although it wouldn’t be natural you know.”

Thanks for the laugh, grandma. Happy birfday.

A bad twist on talkies

December 5, 2007

I’ve recently seen a few movies that were expectedly good (No Country For Old Men, Gone Baby Gone) and surprisingly good (The Mist). The commonality between the two were awful crowds. As my viewing mate Replicant will attest to, the teens that packed The Mist were pretty bad. Their constant talking & texting made me hate them & their parents for their lack of raising good kids as all kids, especially teens, religiously follow their parental directions for good manners, right?

The Boomers in No Country For Old Men held their own with their need to constantly update their spouse (in an obliviously loud whisper) about “their” prediction for the movie & their cries of “That’s it?!? I don’t get it!” at the end of the movie. Apparently, some mild form of glaucoma or dementia or a mix of the two disabled them from connecting the movie’s title, No Country For Old Men, to the wistful laments of Tommy Lee Jones & Barry Corbin throughout the movie, two actors who ain’t quite spring chickens.

I know. It’s tough when you’re trying to show off for your spouse of 40+ years with your film prediction prowess AND simultaneously follow the plot. Did you expect a treat for being right? “Very good, sweetie! I know someone who’s getting an extra bowl of Colon Blow for breakfast.” Maybe if you’d shut the eff up & focus on the film, silently keeping score to yourself, you might have been able to follow what was an otherwise straightforward plot.

…And I really hope Josh Brolin can leverage his success from Gone Baby Gone to bring Goonies 2 to the big screen.