Kill me, Jesus. Kill me now.

Silly me. Here I am, suffering with allergies bad enough to necessitate 2 trips the doctor over the course of 2 days with a result of 3 prescriptions & 3 over the counter meds, thinking I will be able to draw the blinds, watch tv, mope & recover all day. Oh no.

There’s some kind of fun run in town that has wrapped up & in the park not too far from my place, they are having some kind of post-race celebration concert, no doubt full of “family fun” and “all ages welcome.” There are a couple of military helicopters on the park’s grounds, so I guess they were running to find the cure for terrorism.

The worst part of this event is that I can hear the music. Now, normally, this would be ok. BUT, in this instance, there are 2 women singing who sound exactly like Jan Hooks and Nora Dunn when they did those skits on SNL in the 80s as those hokey lounge singers. Sorry, I can’t find any videos of them, but if you watched SNL in the 80s or have seen a Best of SNL special, you’ll know who I mean.

So today’s “performers” are singing in the same lounge act style, running songs together in a medley broken up with wit only a Branson audience could appreciate. Here’s the performance (remember: medley) I’ve been subjected to today:

Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy
Chattanooga Choo-Choo
(indecipherable banter)
I Will Always Love You
Breaking Up is Hard to Do
What’s Love Got to Do With It?
(I Can’t Help) Falling in Love With You
Unchained Melody
(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher & Higher
(indecipherable banter)
Proud Mary
Under the Boardwalk
(indecipherable banter)
God Bless the USA
(jingoistic banter)
America the Beautiful
The Army Goes Rolling Along
Anchors Away
(me grumbling & digging around for a sniper rifle)

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2 Comments on “Kill me, Jesus. Kill me now.”

  1. B. Dubbins Says:

    So… de Neti Pot dun’t werk?

  2. Jesus Says:

    Don’t tempt me.

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