Close Encounters of the Jerk Kind

I went to a local liquor store today to acquire some beverages to imbibe during this evening’s NBA playoff game. As I was waiting (and signaling) to turn left into a parking spot, a “gentlemen,” approaching from the opposite direction, proceeded to take the spot. I honked & threw up my arm, expressing my disgust. As I got out of my car, this gentlemen proceeds to ask, “Do you got a problem, boy?” Outside of his outdated & strangely homo-erotic threat, yes, I did have a problem. I proceeded to explain that I was waiting for that spot, to which he responded that he had the right-of-way. I explained that regardless of the right-of-way issue, his actions, in addition to his words, were rude. He spat forth another rude threat which I cannot presently recall. I can recall that it was at this point that I determined what the gentleman’s mother did for a living. Not wanting to state the obvious & share it with him, I proceeded into the store to complete my transaction. Now, you may be asking yourself, “Self? What kind of passive-aggressive puss avoids a physical confrontation only to go on & sully someone’s character via a random blog entry?” In this case, I will state the obvious: me. (And who uses the word “sully” in their inner monologue? You weirdos).

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2 Comments on “Close Encounters of the Jerk Kind”

  1. Grue Hair Man Says:

    The jerk store called, they are running out of YOU!

  2. JCH Says:

    If I’d had the guts, I might have said, “If I were your mother, I’d spank you right now.”


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